Saturday, November 24, 2012

A Star with a Greater Purpose


I am a star that flickers like a dying flame.
No one understands why I am so sad
or see how the other stars laugh at me.
They tell me that I am to just stay in the sky
looking down
at the earth below.

I know that I have a greater purpose,
there is more out there for me.
The other stars say,
“What else could there be for a star like you?”
 I cry, trying to hide my tears
but they flow out like rain
they shimmer like glass.
I go to the end of the galaxy
and sit on its edge
thinking.

I call out to my creator, asking him
“Why did you create me the way I am?”
I struggle in the fight,  
That’s why I flicker, trying to hold on to who I am.
My creator comes and sits next to me.
“I love you for your flicker if I had wanted you
to be like the others I would have made you that way.”
He whispers in my ear and I beam.
I bow and dash across the Milky Way.

This is a special night
I am to shine brighter than the others
to light the way for those who
are to witness the great birth of the creator’s son.
The stars didn’t laugh that night, instead they plotted
I knew they wished me dead, but I also knew my creator had a plan.

One night the other stars came for me
they started a fight and cast me down to the earth.
As I fell I saw the babe as a grown man
being betrayed by his friends and killed.
I mourned and cried as I crashed to the earth.

I woke to the sound of men and women wailing
they rolled me in front of his tomb, where he was buried.
Three days later I was awaken by a bright light within the tomb.
There stood my creator’s son, he smiled at me and said,
“Dear star, don’t forget the love of your creator!”

I waited a long time after he left.
Finally someone remembered me
they came and broke me down
til all that was left of me was dust.
I thought, “What is to become of me now?”
Then the wind came and swept me up
I was scared at first because it would whip
and twirl, but then I burst out with laughter and color
it was like the dancing we used to do back in the night sky.
I let the wind carry me to a far away land
where I made myself happy by dancing and twirling
with bursts of joy and color praising my creator as I did.

The stars above looked down with awe and curiosity
they turned to each other and said, 
“That looks like so much fun, let’s see if we can join!”
And so they excitedly descended from the sky.
 “May we join you in your dance, please?”
 I didn’t want to say yes at first, but then I remembered
the love of my creator. “It would be my pleasure,
if you did!”

To this day we still dance in color together
I have seen people look up at us with awe and call us Aurora Borealis.
I taught the other stars how we are all meant to dream
and to do something great with those dreams.
When you look up in the sky and you see a falling star,
do not believe that it is merely a dead star falling to earth,
but rather
a star with a greater purpose…

Monday, November 12, 2012

Little Child of Africa


Verse 1
Photo by Miah B  'Charity'
            
When you look into her eyes, what do you see?
When you look into her face, do you see me there?
When you see her smile, do you see that she is happy?
When you hear her laugh, what do you hear?
 Do you know now why you have come?

Chorus
 Is it not to share your food with the hungry, to provide shelter for the homeless?
When you see the naked, to clothe him, to not turn away?
This is why you’re here, this is why you’ve come, this is why I’ve sent you!

Verse 2
When she reaches for your hand and takes it, what do you feel? When she plays and runs can you see that she is poor?
When you look around as she guides you through her village,
do you know now why you have come?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Dead Man Rising



This is actually an assignment for a class, I had to write a short story (a really short story) inspired by a poem by Billy Collins, I chose his poem: ‘The Dead’  Hope you enjoy it, or at least are amused by it.

            Trevor woke up from a white flash of light, his body numb, his head and back sore. He tried to sit up, but couldn't, his body felt too stiff.  He realized that he was lying on the floor of a forest of bamboo trees, which were closely knit together. The sun streamed through the gaps of the trees in a green hued light.  Trevor didn't know where he was nor did he remember how he got here. A shadow of a man peered over him, blocking his vision of the sun, and interrupted his troubled thoughts. Trevor couldn't make out the man’s identity for his face was shadowed, he opened his mouth to ask the man who he was, but before he could the man spoke in a voice like Morgan Freeman saying,
            “No kid you aren't waking up from a long dream, you’re dead…dead as a doorknob. Now this may come as a shock to you, but you’ll get over it, I know you’re young (and you young people like to think that you’re going to live forever) but, jumping off that bridge into that fast current of water was just stupid, and I don’t mind telling you.”
            Trevor blinked, his eyes wide like that of a deer in headlights, “You mean….”
            “No, you’re not in heaven, but you’re not hell either, you’re in the waiting area…the big man has a lot of people to talk with before he can see you about your fate, so while you wait, you get to enjoy this luxurious forest where you can “relax” for a bit.  We have other things we have to discuss, but first would you please get up, you’re dead not paralyzed so stop being a slug on leaf, get up!”
            The man lifted Trevor to his feet, whose mind was spinning with questions. When he was able to see the man’s face, Trevor saw that it was transparent, but every time the man moved or changed his expression a flicker of color flashed across it; and his eyes weren’t just one, but rather all the colors of the rainbow.  He wore a white suit, a white fedora, and a blue tie.
            “Are you an angel?” Trevor asked.
            The man laughed loudly, “You could say that, I like to call myself the Boddia.”
            “Bodo?” Trevor asked confused.
            “No, BO-DEE-AH, Babysitter Of Dumb Deceased In Afterlife.” Boddia smirked proudly, sending a ray of flaming red color across his face.
            “Well Boddia, I guess the polite thing to say would be that it’s nice to meet you, I just wish that it was under other circumstances. What happens now? Do I get to experience my childhood over again? Do I get to visit my friends and family? Or do I get to view the contents of my life….can I see my own funeral!?!” Trevor asked with a weird smile on his face.
            Boddia looked at him, clearly not amused, “Seriously kid? First, no, you’re the age you are and you’re staying that way. Second, what have you got to see back down there, your dad sitting on the john complaining that your obituary was crap, or you’re mom watching family made movies of your childhood crying, wishing that you had been smarter; or would you rather see your friends getting stoned on the bridge you smartly jumped off of “wishing you the best up here in the sky.” Sorry, but the big man has a ‘no haunting’ policy. And no, you missed your funeral; why would you want to see yourself cold and dead, stuffed in a box anyway? No, what happens next is we go on a long walk, you get to ask me all sorts of questions, which I may or may not answer; then I’m going to take you to the lake for the “gathering” where you will meet others who are deceased just like you, you can talk with them all you want, about anything you want, hear their stories, hopefully learn from them. Some are really quite marvelous, most are very tragic, sounds boring to you I’m sure, but you never know who you might just meet. I remember meeting all kinds of people, no story is alike and not every life amounted to anything, but you will learn something, I promise.
            So with that, Trevor followed Boddia through the bamboo trees, and after some time, they came to a clearing where there lay a beautiful lake, and surrounding the water’s edge were a group of people, talking with one another.  Trevor took a deep breath, and as he did he thought, guess the dead really don’t just sit around watching the living, nor care to, for their journey of life ended on earth, and now they begin a new journey of death in the land of waiting.           

The End

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Tears in Africa


By Miah and Carrie B.  (Carrie is my big sis)
We wrote this for the cries in Africa, which are dear to our hearts! We miss you Kenya!

 Kenya, Africa Summer 2010


Verse One
Tears falling down, like rain on the ground.
Mothers crying out, for babies ripped from their arms

Chorus
Abba- Daddy, come for them
Jehovah Shalom- Bring peace unto this land
Elroi - The God who sees
Jehovah Jireh – Provide for all their needs

Verse Two
Tears falling down, like rain on the ground
Peace lost, no more trust, families dying beneath their crosses.

Bridge
(Slow) Tears falling down, like rain on the ground…

Friday, October 19, 2012

A Sonnet

First off, lets talk about what a sonnet is, a sonnet is merely just a structured poem made up of 14 lines in Iambic Pentameter (basically meaning it has a rhythm). It also has a rhyming scheme (or pattern) for example: aa bb cc dd ee ff gg, but the most commonly used pattern is: abab cdcd  efef  gg. My poem 'Nightmare,' for example, could have been a sonnet, however it has 20 lines. If it had 16, it could have been excepted as a sonnet, but  really  technical people (whose lives revolve around this stuff) would have argued, until the cows came home, that no it is not at "true" sonnet. So here it is, my "true" sonnet:

Watching through the Glass

I stood at Admin window watching for you,
I stood at the clock waiting for you, not knowing why.
I saw your face, looking my way, but I doubt you saw me too.
The rain soaks my coat, swearing to never dry.

I was thinking about this morning, when I told you to disappear.
How can I be so horrible? I ask myself all the time.
You told me I was only speaking from fear.
I put the thought away, knowing in the end it will all be fine.

Is it all in my head?  Most things are.
The rain soaked into my jacket reminds me I am awake.
I think of the lonely road ahead and my lonely car.
How long will this gruesome journey take?

I am better off alone, and you are better off without the pain.
I let you go, and it proves that I will never be tame

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Poem




Just another one of my rants,
me talking on and on.
Expressing my every emotion and strife,
a true confession of insanity and genius,
the flower amongst the ash.
Where has my mind gone?
Why am I living a half life?
People take all if they can, 
never leaving anything for keeps.
It's not okay, it's not okay.
It will never go away....



Photo by MiahB



Sunday, September 30, 2012

Winged With Fire


Part 1
          You probably won’t believe this story, but someone needs to tell it. Someone needs to know about those people, about what happened to them; I need to tell someone who is responsible for killing them…
* * * * * *
          I was a boy then, about twelve years and old my parents were huntsmen for the Viceroy; they would go into the forest and capture, and most times kill, the magical creatures that dwelled there. Sometimes they would be in the forest for weeks or months at a time, hunting a great stag, a cave troll, or a magical bear of old.
          When they would return, the Viceroy would hold a great feast. There we would eat, drink, and laugh with our friends and adversaries; enjoying the freshly killed food. This was the only time that everyone in our village would truly come together. My parents weren’t just known for their talent in fighting and hunting, they were also entertainers, and my father knew how to capture the crowd. They did their job well, especially during the great feast; they would put on a show telling the story of their magnificent adventure, never revealing too much as to keep the crowd under their spell. Then they would bring in the creature, either stuffed or alive to show off; if alive they would fight it to the death, this made the crowds roar with laughter and excitement.
* * * * * *
          It happened one night, at one of the greatest feasts we had ever held in Griatia, we were laughing and rejoicing at my parent’s latest victory! My parents had accomplished something that no one else in the history of Griatia had ever done before. They had caught a phoenix! They kept it alive, knowing that everyone would want to see this creature of legend, including the Viceroy. Everyone did want to see the majestic creature we had only ever heard about in legend. They wouldn’t miss this show for anything, but they would soon regret that.
          The crowd was loud and enthusiastic that night. Smiles were contagious and drunkards were amusing. I asked my parents if I could have a peek of the great bird before the big show, but they refused, obviously very annoyed that I asked.
           Everyone ate and drank until their buttons and ties were ready to burst. The Viceroy went around doing his usual, bragging about his wealth and how his banquets had the best shows; he also spoke of how tonight would be the best show of all, for he had a live phoenix.   
          The Great Hall was glorious, the round marble fire pit was a magnificently blazing, and on it roasted a great boar. At the end of the hall, facing the marble fire pit was the great tapestry, behind the Viceroys enormous chair, which displayed him high on the back of his glorious steed, in the background was a battle being won by his army.
          Then my parents entered the room, and everyone grew silent, they all fought to get a closer view. My parents, walked confidently into the middle of all the square dining tables, they addressed the crowd with smiles and waves of their arms. Behind them, a great cloaked cage was being wheeled in.  My parents addressed the crowd, telling their guests of their search for the phoenix, and how they toiled and fought to bring it here tonight! Then the moment we all waited so long and patiently for. My parents walked over to the cage, gave a grand bow, and slowly uncovered the cage. The crowd’s eyes grew large and their mouths formed a big gaping hole.
                    My thoughts predicted the terrible gruesome creature that was going to be under there, the one we’d all proclaim as better off dead. I thought about how its mouth would form a crooked grin, its eyes would burn like the fires of hell, and its claws would bear the blood of its past prey. 
          When the cover was lifted, my eyes however were overcome with the image of an angelic creature, nothing like what we had heard about in the legends, nothing gruesomely ugly or terrifying.  I saw a creature that was lean, graceful, and so lovely beyond anything my eyes had ever witnessed before, so beautiful that tears formed my eyes.
          Her small head pointed toward heaven and her eyes flashed like embers. She fluffed her wings with a flicker of fire as she proudly tucked them into her sides. Her tail swirled in an elegant smooth motion like fiery sparks on the wind. Even though she was captured, she stood with such beauty, grace, and pride! Her spirit would never be held captive; it would burn like the sun.
          Now my heart ached and I felt sick, how could we cage such an elegant creature? How could we talk of killing her and stuffing her as a trophy?  That’s when the phoenix’s eyes met my gaze, and she seemed to read my thoughts, through her eyes she seemed to say, “Awaken to the cries of the broken, seek the path few have chosen. Become what you believe.” 
          With that I crawled under the tables and ran to the fire pit, I grabbed the largest piece of burning wood, and I ran with it to the “great war” tapestry, and with all the power I had, I threw the burning piece of wood at it.
          At this point the crowd was in an uproar, woman and children were screaming, men were shouting, the guards were chasing me. I ran as fast as I could to the Phoenix’s cage, and opened it; my mother grabbed my arm and screamed at me,
          “What are you doing?”
          She was too late, the phoenix had escaped; she had spread her wings and let forth a huge tsunami of fire that engulfed the ceiling of the great hall. Never looking back to see what happened to me she flew through the ceiling’s burning embers and gaping holes.
* * * * * *
          When everything was done and over, all that was left of the great hall was black pillars and ash. I remember sitting on Krye’s Hill looking down at it, my face and hands black, my clothes smelled of smoke and grey pieces of ash stuck to them.  My face was frozen in a dumb expression, my mind still couldn’t wrap around the events that had just occurred. I couldn’t believe that they were all really gone.
          So now you know, I did it, it was me…I killed them all…I burned the great hall and all the people in it…all to save the bird.  As I was escaping the falling timbers, I saw my mother yelling to me from across the hall,
          “Don’t forget the words of the phoenix!”
          And then she died, I didn’t see it happen…all I remember is how I followed the smoke trail leading out of the great hall, I heard all the terrible cries behind me as they burned in the great hall.  I watched it burn to the ground on top of Krye’s hill, I saw that the only thing that was left was black crooked pillars, like grave stones marking the place of the dead.
* * * * * *
          After watching the fire turn into smoldering smoke, I woke from my stupid daze, and ran into the forest, hoping that no one would find me. I knew what evil I had done, and I knew too that I would never truly sleep again.
          Now I wake from my nightmares, remembering their cries, they haunt my mind, like my shadow haunts me. I remember the fires and they burn holes in my soul. I chose my path, not knowing fully what kind of debt I would pay; I am now the tortured soul of the burning fires of hell. I have become the nightmare that I thought I believed in.
          I am the phoenix…

Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Watcher


My eyes stare at his face,
staring at me.
How much does he see?
How much does he know?
When I start forgetting about him,
His faint sound reminds me he is still there.
Watching…lurking…

-- Click Click --      --Tick Tick –

The final “GONG,” reminds me he is alive.
Every time my eyes break away from his stare,
I leave a memory there.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Matched by Ally Condie

From L.A. Times
Hey you guys! For the last month or so I have been reading the book 'Matched' by Ally Condie, between school, work, and wanting to take my time, it took me a while to get through it. Lol However, it is a fantastic book! Some reviewers compared it to 'Twilight' and 'The Hunger Games,' its not really anything close to 'Twilight,' but that could be just my opinion, however it does reflect a bit of 'The Hunger Games.' I would definitely recommend it, it was an excellent read! Condie's writing style I thought was a little basic at first, but then as I kept going it felt as though she got more and more confident and let herself play around and take risks. She is very poetic and creative in her writing style, which I loved. Her character development was excellent,  I was really able to connect with the main character Cassia, she wasn't annoying or absurd, which is the problem I had with Bella in 'Twilight.'   For being a sci-fi fantasy book, it was pretty realistic, meaning I found it believable. The idea of the "society" in her book is where the reviewers got the "like Hunger Games"  idea, the society controls every thing with rules for a "perfect society" and if you challenge those rules the society will snuff you out. The romance was enjoyable, but not outrageous. I loved the first book SO much that I am getting the second one, and I am so excited about it, the next book is entitled: Crossed. If you check out Condie's site, you will see there that there are  rumors about them making a movie as well, which is also exciting, however I hope they stick close to the book because I can't really see them changing anything...we shall see. So here it is: Matched by Ally Condie


indiebound.org
Matched
Cassia has always trusted the Society to make the right choices for her: what to read, what to watch, what to believe. So when Xander's face appears on-screen at her Matching ceremony, Cassia knows he is her ideal mate . . . until she sees Ky Markham's face flash for an instant before the screen fades to black. The Society tells her it's a glitch, a rare malfunction, and that she should focus on the happy life she's destined to lead with Xander. But Cassia can't stop thinking about Ky, and as they slowly fall in love, Cassia begins to doubt the Society's infallibility and is faced with an impossible choice: between Xander and Ky, between the only life she's known and a path that no one else has dared to follow.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Beginning -- War




   Battle cries were in the air and Nerf Darts were flying, they seemed to be coming from every direction! Julia did her best to leap and sneak stealthily over toys and around corners, but her enemy was too skilled and clever for her, she accepted the fact that she would never beat such skilled opponents!

   Julia checked her Nerf Cartridge, drat! Only one Nerf Dart left, she would have to pull a “Bruce Willis” if she was to survive, but even then her future looked bleak! She took a deep breath, and rolled her eyes with a smile…she ran as fast as she could from behind her hiding place, then aimed and fired her last dart. BOP, was the sound that her Nerf Gun made as she pulled the trigger; the dart lurched from the cartridge.

   A few moments later Julia found herself laying on the hallway floor staring up at the ceiling lamps, she lay amongst the chaotic mix of toys and weapons thrown carelessly on the floor. She heard the boy’s voices in the background proclaiming their victory; this was probably the eighth or ninth time this had happened. How did they do it? Every time they managed to put her in that corner of death! There was no way out after you entered; each time you tried to escape…you were slaughtered.

   “Hey Julia…you want to switch sides this round, or would you like to continue to be killed!?!”

   Josiah asked with a laugh from the stairs, his brother Jordon was laughing wickedly with him. I can still remember my first time babysitting them, it was funny; their parents were so sure that after the first time I would never come back!

   I lifted my head and looked down the hall at the boy’s heads peeping over the top of the stairs with mischievous grins on their faces.

  “No thanks, I think I’m done for the night.” I flopped my head back down, I heard disappointed whines,                 “Aww, not even one more round, can’t we make it an even ten?”

    I rolled my eyes, and sighed, “Fine, one more round and that’s it!” I lifted my hand waving my pointer finger in a number one  final motion.

   I sat up and grabbed as many Nerf Bullets as I could, this time I was going to win, this time I was ready for war!

Saturday, September 8, 2012

A Cruel World


Verse One
A church is weeping, as there building is burning down.
A girl is crying, she just found out.
A family is full of sorrow, as they lower the body into the ground.
Photo from bogoisme.blogspot.com
A little boy is pleading, “Jesus, please hear my prayer!”

Chorus
And Jesus says, come knock on my door, I love you just as much as before.
 You ask for forgiveness, it’s already been given. You ask for protection, you have an angel.
I will take care of you, no matter what the need is, for you are my children, and I love you!
 I love you!  (2nd verse chorus 2x)

Verse Two
A church is rising up from the ashes.
A girl is smiling, as she hold a little angel.
A family is believing that they will overcome.
A little boy is embracing the army daddy that just came home.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Racing Leaves



We are racing,
Art by Josephine Wall
Leaves are chasing,
We are flying like the bees,
Through the forest trees.

We are running against time,
Against Mother Nature in prime.
The winds blow and whip,
Making the trees bend and dip.

Leaves fly in the air,
Colors everywhere,
Threatening that winter is near,
Fall is already here.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Love Never Ending - Song

This is one of the first songs I ever wrote and put music to, I play this on my guitar all the time and sing too. This is short, however, it has a lot of deep meaning. This started off as a poem (like most of my songs do) and then I liked the rhythm that I felt it had, so I started playing around with it on the guitar. It's a pretty happy song, most of my songs are happy, kinda funny right? Anyway, I wrote this trying to describe God's nature, which is kinda hard to do, however I expressed it in my words and was amazed at how well it turned out. If I didn't mention before I am a Christian who is very much in love with her heavenly father, and in my songs I worship his name, by either describing who he is and how I have experienced him in some way.  I don't know what you believe in dear Reader, but I didn't create this blog to Christianize people, instead to glorify him and express the talent he gave to me. I hope I do not offend in anyway. Anyway enough talk here is the song:


Guitar Chords: G C D

Verse 1

 Love never ending, gifts sometimes pending,
Hope and Joy he provides.


Chorus
 Never unseen, or unheard by the spirit,
But blind our earthly eyes are to Him. (1st. verse 1x) (2nd verse 2x)


Verse 2
Never leaving, or forsaking his people
Always there, always aware.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Nightmare


The absence of,
The sadness of,
The memory gone,
Life goes on,
I’m stuck in the silence.
Photo By: Tracy Hymas


The heart aches,
The life breaks,
The music gone,
Why does life go on?
The quiet creeps in.


People pass by,
I wonder why,
I can’t shed the old skin,
I’m trapped deep within,
I feel old in this new world.


Scars remain,
I feel lame.
World spins round,
My feet still hit the ground,
Will I wake from this nightmare?

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Will the Sea Swallow Me Up?



I find myself in this place once again, a place of torment, pain, and fear. Grey rain clouds and mist hide the bright moon and cover me. The dreary sadness of the scene matches the condition of my heart. My heart has been swallowed up in a sea of sorrow and disappointment, disappointment in myself, and you. How could you hurt me like this?
          Stupid girl, you knew better than to open your heart and trust, it has always lead to pain and anguish, why would this have been any different? You picked the scab of an old wound, did you really expect it not to hurt? You told yourself no...why didn’t you listen?
The waters of the sea surround me, taunting me, telling me that they will have me as their prize; I will be there next victorious capture!
I look up at the sky, praying that it won’t rain, for if it does, I am finished, and the sea will get it’s wish. The rock that I cling to is slippery, my hands are slipping as the strong waves crash against me, I am beginning to lose faith in my strength, and in the strength of this rock.  My soaked red dress clings to me, it weighs me down.
My eye catches a glimpse of something flying toward me. A white winged dove flaps toward me; I lift up a hand to it, for it is my old friend. He comes and lies to rest for a moment in my palm; in its beak it holds a rose, a red rose. I sit for a moment, as I grasp the rose in my hand as the dove flies off, leaving me alone with this rose whose thorns contain every hurtful memory! As I look at it, tears form in my eyes, but you are not here to wipe them away this time, you left me to this ocean. Where did you go? Why did you leave me?
I stand, no longer afraid of the waves, my face is streaked with tears. I cast the rose to the waves, the moment it hit the water it started to rain. I speak to the sea, I say that I am no longer afraid, I am ready, and it can have me!
With a crack of thunder and an enormous crash of a wave, I found myself tumbling into the water. My arms, hair, and red dress reach toward the surface as I sink down, down into the lurking darkness of the bottom of the deep. Bubbles engulf my body as it comes to rest on the sea floor. I lay to rest on my back, my eyes searching for the light of the moon.
 It’s coming, I can feel it in my heart, the angel of death is coming for me, like a shadow that follows me everywhere I go. My vision is slowly fading into blackness...

* * * *
My eyes open once more, I feel as though I am in a dream state, everything is foggy, and something is walking towards me, something dressed in all red. My vision clears a bit, and I see that it is me, me in my red dress walking towards myself. When she, me, reaches me, she leans down, grasps my hand, handing me the red rose that I had cast into the sea, and lifts my head. She signals me to follow her, but I shake my head no, I want her to leave me here, it will be better this way, no more pain, no more anything, soon it all will be over. She whispers something in my ear. Her face changes, it’s the angel of death disguised in a self image, he has come for me once again.
Suddenly an explosion occurs from a crater in the sea floor, sending me hurling to the surface and casting the angel of death and I in the opposite directions. I wake to find myself lying on a sandy shore. I look up at the stars above me, glimmering like diamonds. My hair and ripped dress are soaked and covered with sand. I slowly and weakly sit up; in my hand I grasp the red rose, a tear rolls off my cheek and slips off my chin, falling onto a petal of the rose. Instantly the moon appears and shines brightly, a ray of its light hits the tear, and the light reflects from the tear drop, causing it to glimmer and shine an explosion of crystal light washes over me.
It was so bright I had to shield my eyes, everything surrounding me made a transformation, from darkness and gloom, to a sunny and beautiful day. The sun felt warm against my skin, a warm gentle breeze blew through my clean dry hair and the sand beneath me was soft and pleasant. I stood and shook the sand from my now turquoise dress, peering up at the blue sky, in my hand I held a turquoise rose; it gave me confidence and courage.
I started walking up the bay, holding the rose in one hand, and my skirt in the other, I looked down, as I walked, I watched my toes sink into the sand. When I looked up, there you stood, your handsome grey eyes watching me, I approached you with peace in my heart.
You kneel taking my hand and kissing it, you said you were sorry, and begged me for forgiveness.  I stopped you before you went any further, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” With that, I gently kiss you, giving you the rose, then together we turn, holding hands and walk down the bay.
You and only you, are the love of my heart...

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Must Fly

Google Images: Dave Balter

It’s coming…
If I stay, it will swallow me up! I can’t let it do that, I can’t fall prey like all the others; I have been given wings, I must fly!
The sky, it calls to me, it beckons me to a better place, a safe serene place; a place of peace where I can be free.
I must break free, I cannot stay, I must not become like the others, I break free…I must fly away! 
It’s coming for me, it is taunting me and telling me that it will have me, that it will take me as its own; I will be its prisoner…
I must fly, I must be free, no one can capture me!
So I must go, spread my wings, and I fly away.

Monday, August 20, 2012

The Devil's Daughter


            It’s gone…
            I no longer am its keeper…
            My emptiness is an abyss of darkness surrounding me. The hollow echos confirm that I am alone. The most important part was taken away from me, my freedom, my peace. Now I have a gaping hole in my heart, and peace never seems to find me.
So deep and wide is my emptiness that I cannot ignore its screams, I cannot ignore the pain. Its screams are that of a child’s, they reach the deepest parts of me. I wish I could calm it and tell it that everything will be okay, but how can I convince it of something even I’m not sure about?
I asked it to come back, I begged it to stay…it wouldn’t, it just left; it didn’t look back…they never look back, like their afraid to become Lot’s wife or something.  It’s almost as if I am evil itself…am I just that horrible and difficult to love?
* * * *
            The devil reaches out his hand, offering to buy my soul, saying that he will love me. He says he will love me the way I long to be loved; he says that the whole world will bow down to me. Never again will I be scoffed at, never again will I be left behind, that’s what he says.  I don’t know, I am uncertain if I can trust him, his deal sounds too good to be true.
I’m the girl who sold her soul to the devil, the girl who signed the dotted line with her own blood. I’m the girl who has talked with the devil, who has seen his face.
He said I was his favorite; he never made me feel insignificant. With him I felt powerful, gifted, and special. I did the work he sent me out to do. I was rewarded with high rankings in his army, he said two more jobs and he would give me the army entirely.
I overheard him one day, he was saying I was the best investment he had made, surprised he was at all that I was capable of. He said that I had more fight than he had ever expected, but he was pleased with all that I had accomplished for him.
I would be his chosen one, the champion of his army, the one to fight for him in the last battle of time. He declared me as his daughter, and announced it to all the minions of his dark world.
            The devil called me to his chambers; I went to see my father. He said to me,
            “My daughter you have made our advisories weep and tremble with fear, now do one more thing to please your father, go to the home of the one’s whose name is written on this scroll and kill him.” 
I take the scroll from him and bow,
            “Yes father, I will do what you ask, know that I love you, but let me ask one question.”    “You may ask.” He says sounding slightly annoyed.  I begin slightly nervous,
             “What has this person done for him to deserve death by my hand, the hand of your most powerful champion?”
 The eyes of my father burned like hot coals in a fire, he turned on me with a rage so great and powerful that I cowered in fear of my life.
            “This person…” He said with disgust, “has been consulting and with my sworn and eternal enemy, he has sided with my enemy, he has been declared a child of my enemy a great warrior, now GO!”
I turned and fled, never had I ever seen my father in such a rage about something, it made me afraid, afraid of what I was about to face…
* * * *
            I find the home of the one whose name was written on the scroll. I draw my sword before I enter his room, there I find him kneeling beside his bed, his hands folded and his eyes closed. He was just a child, twelve years old perhaps, small and innocent. I am shocked, this is the warrior I am to face and kill?
            I sit down next to him watching him curiously…surely there is a mistake, this cannot be HIM.  The boy opens his eyes and looks at me with a small smirk,
            “Oh hi, I was expecting you…”
He sat up on his bed looking at me just as curiously as I was looking at him.
            “He told me you would be coming; I will admit that I am surprised that you haven’t struck me down with your sword, perhaps you’re surprise that I am so young and small!?!”
             He laughed making me all the more surprised, “I know all about you, you’re the one who sold you soul to the devil and now he calls you his daughter.  You’re the one he declared as his “greatest champion,” he may call you all those things, but you are really just  his slave the one he sends to do all his dirty work.”
            I was shocked and taken back, but I kept my face cool and unemotional, I asked, “And you’re the champion of my sworn enemy!” 
            “Well I don’t know how much of a champion I am.” He replied, “But I am a child of God…the enemy of your father. You signed the dotted line with the devil all because you felt alone, you didn’t hear the calls of my father, you were too busy focusing on your sad affairs that you didn’t see the best opportunity that could EVER be offered to you was right in front of your nose, the love from a father who would have loved you for you not just what you were able to do for him. The sad thing is that you will never feel satisfaction or receive the true love that you are in constant pursuit of, because your master, whom you call father, is not capable of such a love.”
            I scream and stumble off the bed….his words came like lashes of a whip, I lay in a scrunched ball for a moment, and then I rose to take my revenge. I draw my sword ready to slay him, no longer will I listen to these words, and no longer will I be HIS prey!
             Then a thought came to my mind that was not of me, how can you kill him? He is nothing but a child, innocent, spotless. Then my next thought was of clearly of me, I cannot return to my father until the deed is done, how can I stand before him and tell him that I could not defeat a puny child? My focus comes back to the child, I will shut him up for good now, I lunge at him,
            “You have no power; you are nothing but a defenseless child!”
I raise my sword to strike, but as I do the expression of the child changed, it wasn’t fear that I saw, but sadness, this made my heart burn, the deep frozen ice that it was had been set ablaze with fire.
            “I am sorry that it has come to this, I am sorry this has been the choice you have made, you could have chosen another path, I could have saved you if you inquired after my God. Now I must defend myself! You are wrong when you say that I am defenseless, I have a sword and a shield like NO other, I have a mighty and powerful God that stand before me!”
Right before my eyes I saw a blazing sword and mighty shield appear in his small hands, they were like nothing I had ever seen before. I was in utter shock, I brought down my sword in a strong and terrible plunge, he blocked the mighty blow with his shield, making me fall back stunned.  I heard him say,
            “No weapon forged against you shall prevail, and you shall refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord…”
            I shrieked, I must make him stop, so I charged at him with all the force I had and struck him down with a powerful blow that sent him sprawling back and flattened to the floor.  I approached him to finish him off, when he said in a weak voice,
            “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed!” 
At that I screamed, an excruciating pang of pain shook my entire body, I looked down and saw that his blade had been plunged deep into the flesh of my abdomen. He spoke again, I gasped with fear and pain,
            “And I will do whatever you ask in MY name, so that the son may bring glory to the father!  Do you know what that name is, daughter of the devil?”
I was hunched over with pain, my breath came in quick and heavy gasps, but through my barred teeth I managed to say,
            “No.”
             “Jesus!” He said with a great shout, “Now return to your master and NEVER show your face here again!”
            I screeched and groaned, the pain kept coming like waves of fire crashing against me. And before my eyes I saw the bright figure of a man standing behind the boy with such authority and valor that I became frightened for my life, so I fled.
* * * *
            Now I lay in my cage alone, truly alone, I am truly abandoned now. When the devil heard of my defeat, he was furious. He threw me into his dungeons never to be heard from again,  no longer am I the devil’s daughter or his prized champion, I am a disgraced victim of the devil’s evil tricks and lies. Never was I loved by him, the boy had been right, the devil doesn’t love.
            Now I slump in the corner of my cage, no sense in me crying or wailing like the other prisoners I hear, no one can see my tears and no one cares to hear my cries in here.  There is no hope for me now, God does not want me, I am the girl who sold her soul to the devil…who fought against God and lost, I tortured his children and killed many of them. I must be disgusting in his sight; I am lower than dirt and feces.  I tell this story to you now, as a warning, the devil will come to you and offer to buy your soul, offering to give you freedom and power, but he will only lock your soul in chains, he will use you to his benefit until you benefit him no longer…then you will lose everything.
            There is a God in heaven who is reaching down to you with a better offer, one of true love, protection, freedom, and victory! He will set the captives free if you call out, Jesus set me free!
            I wish I could declare that for myself, but how can I? I am disgusting…I was the devil’s daughter, the one who did his evil deeds. God wants nothing to do with me now. I know he has the power to set me free from this bondage for he is all powerful, but who am I to ask him such a thing?
            You who have not sold your souls, be warned see and learn from my mistakes, when Jesus knocks at the door, let him in…do not leave him standing on your door step.
            I now lie in wait of the end. The day of judgment where I shall be released from this prison and be told of my punishment, and then when I shall be put into the prison of eternal fire, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.  I accept it, for it is nothing less of what I deserve, it is my fate.
           
            Suddenly the door to my cage flies open and a bright figure of a man stands in front of me. His hand stretches out to me and he says in a powerful voice of supremacy,
            “Take my hand, I have paid your debt and you are free, follow me and we shall leave this dungeon.”
 My chains fell off and I rose to my feet, “Jesus?” I am in shock, “Why would you want me? Why would you come here to this disgusting evil place to save me, the one who was the devil’s daughter?”
            “You’re no longer the devil’s child, you are now my own. Follow me; you are no longer the champion of hell, but of heaven!”
 I take his hand and follow him, he leads me out of the depths of hell, and when we are out I fall to my knees and weep, I kiss his feet.
            “Jesus, I don’t deserve this, but thank you! I love you and I will sacrifice all that I am for you!”
* * * *
            “Devil be warned, on the day of the last battle you and I shall meet again, we shall fight to the death, but you will be destroyed! Jesus and the saints of heaven will take the victory; we will be eternally free and living in glory, worshiping our heavenly father in complete perfection. No tear shall be shed ever again.”
           
            “NO longer am I the devil’s daughter, but a child of God, I have the victory, and the devil has fled from me!”